October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th is specifically the day that we light candles all around the world to honor the babies that were born sleeping or earthside for too short of a time. The babies that were carried but never held. The babies that were held but did not come home. The babies that came home but could not stay. As your Fort Collins bereavement doula, it’s my life’s work to help you honor and remember your babies.
Pregnancy and infant loss are much more common than we all would like to admit. And it’s so hard to talk about that often we just don’t. But I’m here to help all of us talk about it. To talk about your baby. To say their name out loud (or type it). To remember. To honor. To love those carrying this loss and support them well.
Recently, I asked my followers on Instagram who was missing from them. The responses were heartfelt and wonderful. It’s a club I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but it’s a club that is as warm, welcoming, and sincere as any club out there. It reminded me that although each loss is unique, we’re all in this together.
This month, we’re remembering the babies – Levi, Jackson, Callum, Lilly, Samuel, Reece, Aidan, Emsly, Matteo and so many others. We’re remembering the babies that were lost too soon to know who they were. We’re remembering the babies that imprinted on your heart. Those that were just short for our world. We’re remembering them all this month, and every month.
And most especially, we’re remembering the families who have such a big piece of their heart missing. No amount of platitudes I type here could ever replace your loss, but I do hope you know that you’re not alone.
If you or someone you know is experiencing pregnancy or infant loss, please do reach out. I’m a Northern Colorado and Fort Collins bereavement doula. I offer no-charge bereavement services to anyone in need. This includes:
- Family preparation to include birth education and coping plans.
- Logistical and birth planning for miscarriage, birth at home, hospital admission and birth, memorial/funeral services, returning to work, home stabilization, and more.
- Comfort measures during the labor and birth process.
- After birth support. Self-care and support plans, meal preparation and coordination, going home plans, and more.
- Welcoming assistance when requested. Preparation for welcoming baby, holding, swaddling, bathing, arranging for photography of baby and family (including siblings) as desired.
- After-life plans for the baby.
- Grief campionship
- And more. It’s my job to support you in the way that you need it most.
You can read more about my work as a Fort Collins bereavement doula here.
Otherwise, please check out the bereavement resources page on my website. There are many local and national grief support options out there and I do not want you to suffer alone. I have also listed books and organizations that you might find best for your situation.
And finally, I invite you to join one of the many support groups at 3Hopeful Hearts. I’m a facilitator of a couple of the groups, but there are many to choose from depending on the kind of support you need most. These (free) groups are wonderful and have played a big role in many people’s healing journeys.
As I said, this club isn’t one that I’d invite anyone to. But if you find yourself here (or someone you know), please feel welcome here. I will do my best – along with my community of wonderful families – to support you and help you along.
You will never get over your loss, but you will eventually learn to live with it. That’s where we come in. We’ll help you learn to live with the hole in your heart. To continue living and honoring your baby. To be with people who understand that you will never be the same (nor would you want to be).
This month, I am honoring the babies that we lost too soon. And the families that have been left with such a gaping hole.
If you know someone grieving the loss of their baby and want to support them better, I highly recommend you read this blog.
Last thing, I invite you to join me and all the other grieving families on October 15th at 7 PM for a Wave of Candlelight event to honor all that we have lost. Click here to learn more.
As your Fort Collins bereavement doula, I’m here for you.
Sending you all my love,