If you’re anything like me, you can relate to the pressure of wanting to be the perfect mom. And even though I’m a parenting coach, I still strive for this elusive standard.
No lie: my daughter is a grown-ass woman and I STILL find moments of feeling disappointed in my mom’ing. Blerg.
So to help us all out, I created a list of 15 steps to becoming the perfect mom…
1. EFF the mom guilt! Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Don’t let society, social media, your kiddo being in the 15th percentile, Dr. Phil, The In-laws, the two parent households, and other mom’s guilt you to parent a certain way. Be you. Be your own authentic best version of yourself. Every kid and mom is different and that’s a-okay.
2. Listen to your gut. Trust your gut is giving you the best advice. Trust you know best for your kids. The “experts” don’t know your kids like you do.
3. Take a breath. There’s nothing wrong with taking a moment or two before deciding your next step. Please join me in a moment of silence for every mother needing a breath.
4. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Giggle with your kids. Cackle and snort with your friends. Grin with your partner. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you forget about the blessings and humor life has to offer.
5. Nurture vs Nature. Kids have their own personalities. The most painful parenting lesson I’ve learned is no matter how perfect we are as moms, your child may still make the unfavorable choice. Keep in mind we don’t always have as much of an impact on our children as we hope.
6. Fall apart. Feel your feelings. Cry when your kids make you sad. Cry because you’re exhausted AF. But also cry when you’re in awe of how amazing your kids were for a moment. Whatever the reason for your tears remember real strength comes for acknowledging your feelings – not pushing them aside.
7. Know who’s a part of your tribe. Surround yourself with people who build you up and encourage you. Find people who embrace your weirdness. Designate a few specific people you can count on for a good venting session. Ask for support. Offer support.
8.Own your mistakes and then forgive yourself. There’s nothing like saying to your kids, “I’m sorry Mommy made a mistake.” This teaches them it’s safe to fail and the importance of taking responsibility for their failures. Then you let it go. Just like that!
9. Let your kids make mistakes and hold them accountable. Don’t protect your kids from all the hard things. They don’t always need you to rescue them either. The best time to learn about life is through failure (and while mom is still there as a safety net of course)
10. Take a break – get away. You can’t be on the clock 100% of the time. (Yes, I’m speaking to the Single Mom’s too!) All moms’ need breaks. I’m so not even kidding right now.
11. Say no! Saying no to something means you’re saying yes to something else. That yes could be to you. Spoiler alert: healthy moms say yes to themselves too. You don’t need to attend every freakin’ event you’re invited to. And kids need to learn the answer is going to be no sometimes.
12. Say yes! Balance means everything. Sometimes it’s okay to have ice-cream for breakfast.
13. Kindness matters. Your kids are watching how you act with strangers and how you treat others. They also watch how you treat yourself. So go ahead and love yourself while you’re practicing kindness.
14. Tradition! Make memories with your kids. Some of my best moments as a mom are creating new traditions with my daughter. She now has something from me to pass onto her littles.
Last and the most important step to becoming the perfect mom…
15. Stop trying to be the perfect mom. Expectations lead to disappointment. There is no such thing as perfect. We’re human. We fail. Life really is too short to spend it trying to please everyone to obtain something unrealistic.
Still feel like you’re trying to get off the perfection struggle bus? Let’s talk about how my parenting coach services can help you, friend.
Here for you, mama!
As a parenting coach, I’m here to help you navigate this parenthood journey. I’ll give you the tools you need to thrive in your new role. Please contact me to learn more. And while you’re at it, consider following me on Facebook.